Yesterday I got a call from the outside
world but I said no in thunder.
I was a dog on a short chain
and now there’s no chain.

- Jim Harrison, Barking

Thursday, November 21, 2013

I tried to prepare the soil for a small winter vegetable garden today. The ground was too hard, I think it is mostly clay. It makes me very upset. I really want to do this but I can't. Maybe I can scrounge up the stuff to make a raised bed? I don't know.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Trying this out

I don't always get on with my family.

It got to the point Thursday night that I up and left, intending to stay gone and live out of my car.

I drove into town as it was too dark to find a good parking spot in the country. I parked at the Lowe's for a bit, reading on my kindle by the parking lot lights, but it was too loud and I felt very exposed. So I moved to a parking lot shared by the public library and a city park. It was nice and quiet. Then, at 3:30 AM a cop pulls up and tells me that the parking lot is private property after midnight and I have to leave. They didn't ask for licence and registration or anything. There were no signs posted with that information, and I figured public library and city park, no one will care if I park here. WRONG.

So I left and drove to the Walmart and parked there. Not 10 minutes into my stay a SUV pulls up right next to me (in a nearly deserted parking lot). There are 2 guys inside, just hanging out before their shift started. But they were loud and I didn't feel comfortable sleeping in my car as it is very obvious that I am sleeping because I don't have any stealthy window coverings aside from a windshield shade. So I drove home in defeat.

I don't know where to park. It was a very nerve-wracking night and I got maybe 10 minutes sleep. I do not like confrontations and the cop visit really upset me. I can't find any information out there on where to park for free in SW Georgia, where I am stuck due to not having much money. So i'm at home, where no one wants me to be, without a job, without much in the way of savings, but with free room and board. It could be worse.

I keep telling myself that.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

I can explain

Err, so sorry for the totally sporadic nature of my blog. Everything is still the same. I still have consistency issues. I have been unemployed since 2009. I live with my parents. That is not a good thing, nor is it a bad thing, exactly. We just get along better when not forced together. I still have the same little car, but no money whatsoever to modify it. I can't even afford gas. So. Nothing going on, except dreaming.

Friday, February 10, 2012

I know that I haven't posted with any sort of regularity, and I do apologize for that. As I have said before, I have problems with depression, apathy, and motivation. Also, I am currently anemic which is a further drain on my energy levels. But the dream of vandwelling and traveling persists. I have recently felt renewed interest in modifying my car for living in and plan to get that front seat out next week come Hell or high water! I've also got tentative plans to visit friends in March/April. They live about 200 miles away, which is a decent trip. I've made that drive in one morning or afternoon before, but this time I think I would prefer a leisurely drive of a few days. A good way to test out vandwelling for myself, I think. I will write more about removing the seat in a few days (hopefully) when it is finally, finally done.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Sorry about the silence on my end. I haven't made any much progress towards getting out of here, or towards living in my vehicle. I am still struggling with the removal of my front passenger seat, although I must confess I've hardly tried really. I'd much rather a van, but I don't have the money for that. Nor a job, I mooch off my parents basically. My social anxiety is very bad, and I have no confidence about putting myself out there for employment. A friend of my uncles said that she could get me a job at a pizza place, but the commute would be about 2 hours a day, 70+ miles. So I don't think I'll be taking her up on that.

I really do need to get out of here, though it is hard to leave a place where I get free room and board in exchange for very little chores. I feel guilty about being here though, and I don't get on with my family very well on a day to day basis.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Seeds, the bane of my existence

So, my attempt to start seeds in small pots and egg cartons was a total wash- I think the soil was too heavy. :( But a few days ago I tried starting some wildflower seeds in paper towels and plastic bags, and lo and behold I'm actually getting some sprouting activity! I want to give them a few more days to grow before I try planting these, then I'll try starting some of the vegetable seeds this way.